My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize