ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have fence marks all over my body
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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