Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
