The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
