I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
