ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
