This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
