And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
