god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
thus making me awesome and them whores
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
