SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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