Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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