? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
