Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
