There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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