Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
