i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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