how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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