i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
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Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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