my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
