He is an equal opportunity slut.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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