Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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