At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I did not marry a roomba.
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