if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize