im so drunk with asians
where?
always
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
