I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
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She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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