Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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