Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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