At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
