yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
