shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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