We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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