Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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