You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
