If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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