He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
