Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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