you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize