I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize