haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
