How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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