Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
