I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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