Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
