mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
