Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
