ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize