We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
