did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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