Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
