Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
