Joe is yelling at the trees again.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
