Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
