His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and i looked up. we had an audience...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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