Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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