It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
