Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just invented taco cereal.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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