i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
